We've received a flood of communication over the last couple of weeks regarding our son's unexpected surgery. Given the severity of his situation, much of the communication has included prayers on his (and our) behalf.
I prayed a lot, too.
We are happy to report that all indications are that the surgery went very well. We are so relieved and grateful, even as we face the longer road to full recovery.
Reflecting on the whole thing a bit, we've recognized how little agency we've had over our lives, over the life our son, during this time.
And, in that respect, we can more easily see the connection between the events our lives and prayer. Sometimes, that connection is harder to see, especially when life is less filled with crisis.
We when we are desperate, out of control, filled with outcomes we desire but are powerless to procure, we almost instinctively resort to prayer. I don't even think we should be too ashamed to admit it, it is just true.
What and how we believe is easily upended when we are in clear need. We pray for help, for intervention, for outcomes we desire before we have time to evaluate doing so. I have the feeling that this is how it should be; that it is part of some of our most basic reality as human-beings.
The consistency of our prayer is not even a question during such times — it just happens, unabated. During other times, it may be for us, as consistency has been widely used against us in such matters.
I'm less and less inclined to believe that the significance of prayer has much of anything to do with its degree of consistency.
It probably has a lot more to do with our awareness...more on that thought to come.
In the meantime, we continue to pray for all kinds of things for Conner, not the least of which is relief from the physical pain he is still experiencing. Then there is the emotional trauma of it all, which lays right below that surface...for all of us who know and love him.
So, I'm still praying...and am grateful that many others are as well.
