Sparked by some of the impacts of COVID-19, I've been thinking more about the nature of communities and the relationship between the ideas of communities and friendships. What are some of the distinctives about a community and friendships? How are our ideas about awareness, love, loneliness involved?
Among other things, it seems to me, friends are those who are actively interested in your life. In other words, because it is personal, they pursue you. They come to you (and you to them—you know, "To have a friend, you have to be a friend.").
Communities, on the other hand are more about them, something you join. Sometimes, that reverses, like in times of crisis when communities come to you. But, mostly, it seems that a community embodies something that you share a common ideal with, something that you are a part of, something you want to work for collectively. In other words, something you go to.
If communities are something that you pursue, that you seek out; perhaps, friends are those that seek out you. They want to know and be a part of what is happening for you.
There are times when these two concepts get co-mingled to the point that you don't really know anymore, which is which. So, the more revealing moments are, when you and the community are not in sync. Friends get closer—they want to know, are curious, want to become a part of whatever it is you are going through (succeeding, struggling, how you are growing and changing—rather than only in how those changes affect them), whether it is popular (with the community) to do so or not. Community, however, tends to withdraw—they look at you skeptically, they grow silent, they distance themselves, they fear the needs of the group itself more than the loss of you.
But, sometimes, communities help create and foster friendships.
We are probably fortunate when we experience either one of these; lucky, when we have both.
