At this time of year, I want to feel grateful.
But, today I don’t. As I reflected on this, feeling even a little bad about it, I realized that just because I don’t feel it, doesn’t mean that I’m not. I am grateful. And the lack of feeling it is allowing me to bump up against the distinction. It has opened me up today to noticing what is going on—that my lack of a particular feeling reminds me of what I still know. I am grateful for so many things—things that I might forget, if left only to the form of what I feel.
Today, it is my mind that calls out to my experience of what I know—to the gratefulness I have for Tami and so much of the life we have shared together, for my kids and the relationship we have with each one of them, for my parents and the heritage they have given me, for my job and the opportunity it provides to meet people in meaningful ways, for the bounty of the goodness of God that I am increasingly becoming aware of—on and on it goes.
Feeling it...is actually just a small part of gratitude. So, I’m grateful for this recognition and what the lack of feeling it has revealed to me today.
