Monday, April 02, 2018

Fuss About My Unworthiness

​If I cannot in honest happiness take the second place (or the twentieth); if I cannot take the first without making a fuss about my unworthiness, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

-- Amy Carmichael

No matter how you slice it, it's not about me.

I have a sensed a disconnection lately — from others and from myself...I wonder if those are related.  After the explosion of Easter, you'd think I'd feel the opposite.  But, by last night, I didn't.  I suspect it's related to something about the above.  I want to be a part of something.  I do, for my sake.  But, that's where the problem creeps in.  Because my being part of something is primarily about something else, besides what I get out of it.  That is the real explosion of Easter anyway — Calvary love — a connection to something far bigger, far deeper, than my sense of connection at any given moment.

It's not about me — my worthiness has never been more in tact.